It's Friday

This morning I got to sleep in...until 8:30! I don't have any more classes left for college, just 4 exams, my Senior paper, a violin jury, and a photography portfolio review. Crazy!

I'm starting to get at least a little excited for the summer, though. I plan to go back to Medora and it will be good to see everyone from that area again. I've missed them over the school year. I do wish there was some possible way to go back to Cairo. I miss the people, the food, the language, the culture in general...perhaps someday I will find a way to go back.

In the meantime, I wrote an essay on the Israeli-Palestinian conflict and the United States involvement. I think I'm going to try to get it published somewhere...

Already? But...but...but...

I'm not ready to graduate yet... How can there possibly be only 2 weeks left in the school year?

Graduation? Am I Old Enough For That?

Right now, I'm sitting in my Southview Apartment living room watching The Bourne Ultimatium with papers concerning my Senior Sem paper strewn all over the couch next to me. 11 revised pages, that's all I have. I need 9 more, and right now, I'm ready to throw it all out the window... The paper is going better, flowing better, sounding better, but I'm still not happy with it.

Facebook is open on my computer--flipping through MESP pictures. Mine, my friends, MESPers I've never met...my heart aches for Egypt. I never thought that I could miss a place as much as (or more) than I miss home, but since I've returned to America, I'm constantly thinking about the Middle East and trying to find ways to get back. Right now, it's (seemingly) not financially feasible, but it's my goal to get back sometime in the coming years.

I graduate in 19 days (soon to be 18). I can't believe how quickly the years went by. Freshman year, it seemed like I'd be in college forever. Now, well...the end is painfully near. This year hasn't exactly been a "normal" college year--first semester I was in the Middle East and now I'm rooming with a bunch of people I've never lived with before. At the beginning of the semester, I was trying to make the days go faster, now I'm trying to find ways to stretch them out... :-S

Re-entry to Life in America

It has been a long time since I posted anything on this blog. (duh) But, I've have a lot of thinking and processing to do (and by no means am I finished with that) and now that school has started up again -- a lot of homework. (Professor Elgersma would cringe at that sentence...it's way too long. But, I have a tendency to write absurdly long sentences.)

Coming back to America has been hard in so many ways. I miss the burger wa beyd wa gibna (basically a cheeseburger with an egg -- strange, I know, but really, really good), the schawerma (a chicken (or beef)/yogurt mixure on either a tortilla or a bun), and basically any and all things that Kareema (the MESP cook) made for us on a daily basis. I've made my first attempt at kosheri (a high carb food that I loved in Egypt), and although it turned out ok, it really wasn't much like the way Kareema made it -- except for the fried onions. Mm Mm, good. :)

"Sticker shock" has also affected me much more than I had expected. I still find myself walking through the aisles of Wal-Mart or Fareway thinking, "They want me to pay this much for that!!! That's ridiculous." Then I have to realize that I am no longer in the Middle East and can't expect to buy things as cheaply here as I did there.

I wish I had bought more scarves. Yes, I said it. While on MESP, I was often accused of suffering from a severe scarf addiction. I was always looking at and buying scarves. Now that I've given some of them away, I don't have as many as I did before. There are colors, patterns, etc galore that I wish I had...but I don't. It's probably all for the best anyway...

I miss the landscape and the heat (which isn't as existent now as it was when I arrived, but it's still warmer in Egypt than it is in Iowa). I miss seeing all the people in the street selling vegetables, fruits, and bread. The Bread Lady -- she was wonderful and welcoming to all the girls. Always telling us, "Ana bahebik" (I love you) and giving us hugs...or waving to us as we walked to class.

I miss speaking Arabic. I said "Happy Birthday" to someone today in Arabic and the words sounded strange coming out of my mouth -- and I couldn't form them nearly as well as I could a few months ago. It's slipping slowly, and I don't like it.

I miss the deep questions -- theological, philosophical, etc -- that are asked everyday, and the constant struggle I had with deep issues. Right now, I've kind of put the big issues on the back burner to keep from going crazy while I try to get through all my homework. But those questions are there, still nagging at me from the back of my mind. Some MESPers have gone back to their school outwardly changed, but I feel like most of my changes are inward or I haven't dealt with the issues I need to -- sadly, from the way I look at how I'm living, I haven't seen change. But, I'm working on it.

Most of all, I miss the people. Both MESPers and Egyptians. I don't even know if I have the words to explain what I miss about them. Most of the time, it just seems like there is a hole. As if someone/something is always missing. I thought having a couple MESPers with me would help -- and it has -- but I don't see them very regularly at all... I guess I just miss the sense of community I had...

I don't want to sound like America is all bad and that I wish I hadn't come back. In some ways, it's been good to be back at Dordt and meeting new people. I'm living with a bunch of people I've never lived with before -- even one person I'd never met! Most of the people in my classes are unfamiliar or I don't know them very well. It's been a good and exciting adventure so far, but my heart longs for Egypt and MESP right now -- and I can't settle it.



** I don't know how pertinent this is to my questions and ponderings about MESP, but I often hear these lines from "You've Got Mail" running through my head: "Sometimes I wonder about my life. I lead a small life - well, valuable, but small - and sometimes I wonder, do I do it because I like it, or because I haven't been brave? So much of what I see reminds me of something I read in a book, when shouldn't it be the other way around? I don't really want an answer. I just want to send this cosmic question out into the void. So good night, dear void."

Maa'a Salaama Masr, Ahlan Germany!

This is the last post from Egypt. Everyone is currently in the process of packing and cleaning the flat... It's quite depressing. I'm going to miss these people a lot. Inshallah -- we will all meet up again at Jon's wedding in May.

Anyway, as of tomorrow, I will be in Germany for 10ish days before arriving back in Iowa on the 22nd. Just in time for Christmas. :)

The Secret Life of Daydreams...

The last week has been really bittersweet for me – the end of travel component and my “homecoming” to Cairo. It’s hard to believe that the semester is practically over – only the papers, debates, and Anafora to go, really, and then it’s off to Germany if a week and a half before returning home just in time for Christmas.

I go back and forth these days on whether I think that going home will be good. Yesterday, I could hardly stand the dirtiness of our flat and really felt like I needed a place to escape to – to think and clear my head. I have so many thoughts about what going back to the States will be like and if I truly will be able to keep in contact with my new friends like I fully intend to.

Kandyce (Jon’s – the PA – fiancée) leaves tomorrow. It’s weird to think that we’ve only known her for a little over a week, but she fits so well with the group dynamic. I was sad that Dr. Diaa and his family didn’t come to Thanksgiving last night. I really hope we’ll get a chance to see him again before we leave Egypt.

I’m really excited for my classes next semester, too. I thought about talking “Thought and Society: Modern Europe,” but thought about it and decided that I didn’t really want just another lecture class. I’m taking Photography I instead – and I still have room for Orchestra and private lessons. J

I’m really excited that Jungho Kim is conducting the NISO Pops Concert in January. He is by far my favorite conductor of the ones that we’ve had for NISO. I wonder if John Thompson will be back…

Although I’m missed my professors and friends and am excited for classes, I can’t really say that I’m too excited to go back to campus again. I’ve been opened to “big city possibilities” and I have to say that I’m going to miss them.

I haven’t gotten back to see my host family since homestay week, which is something that I’ve meant to get around to, but have just been too scared to call. (I told them I’d visit tem before travel component, but was just too busy and forgot.) I feel badly, so hopefully I’ll still get a chance to go. I miss them a lot.

I’ve been thinking a lot about what Ali (my host brother) told me – how he’s sure that I’ll come back to Egypt. I’d love to make that happen for the long term, but I’m still waiting for an opportunity to present itself.

On another unrelated note: I’m excited to be able to give my feet a good scrub when I return because my feet are definitely the grossest part of my body right now. (If anyone needs any Christmas ideas for me, foot care products are definitely acceptable! J)

Also – yesterday was the first day of Eid-al-Adha (Feast of the Sacrifice, I believe is the translation), which celebrates Abraham and Ishmael (the story Christians and Jews know as Abraham’s sacrifice of Isaac). Anyway, we had the chance to go to morning prayers in the square, but people slaughtered animals in the streets all day. For example, a family brought 3 sheep to the roof of one of the buildings in Agouza and I watched them slaughter them yesterday morning. I wanted to go out in the streets, too, but I haven’t really felt well the past couple days, so I didn’t leave. I think I may regret that later…

Life Flies Past As I Watch From the Curb...

I can't believe that today is our last day in Israel and tomorrow we'll head back to Cairo. Katherine told me yesterday, "I can't believe we'll be living together again in a couple days." For a few minutes I was really confused, until I remembered that at some point in the distant past, I had lived with her in a flat in Cairo.

I am really excited to see Cairo and my Egyptian friends again. I have missed them a lot since coming on Travel Component. But, I am definitely not ready to write 4 papers and have a debate about the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. It will be nice, however, to be able to somewhat converse with people on the street, though, provided I haven't lost what little Arabic I learned in the first two months.

Everything for my stay in Germany has also worked out, which means that from Dec. 10 to Dec. 21 I will be in Germany, inshallah. I'm really excited to be able to see Germany at Christmas time, and hopefully there will also be snow. I've missed snow a lot -- as well as a wider selection of clothing (but that's unrelated to Germany).